Friday, December 30, 2011

Why Try So Hard?

Christmas is out of our house.  Tree out.  Santa out.  Wrapping out.  Lights down.  Gone.  Short lived, but lovely.  Sometimes I wonder why we try so hard.  I remember mom putting up the storm windows in the fall.  They were windows, lined with heavy plastic.  She changed out the screens and put up the storm window with regular ritual, just like we pull in a Christmas tree and bangle it with baubles.  It's stuff we do to mark time.  Sometimes, like the storm windows, it has a practical purpose.  Sometimes, like the Christmas decor, we just do it.  We do it because our families before us have done it.  We do it because all the stores tell us to do it.  And sometimes, we just do it because it makes us happy. 

This year Ubaldo did it.  He even put a laying down tree on top of a cabinet, hooked it up to remote and wa la...Christmas in our room.  Our room is where Jed spends most of his time.  TV and comfortable bed.  That's our room.

This year we didn't make church once in December, not even Christmas Day.  Jed got the shingles and it set him back a lot.  His stamina is limited.  One Sunday we spent all day in ER another all day in bed.   But what we got this Christmas was real.

Jed's very good friend called us from the hospital.  "Just got a heart transplant."  Another loyal forever friend died.  My dear friend who's more family than friend, came from Macedonia Peace Corp and we were just regular together.  Regular is very very good.  And then, two cousins, sisters, popped into my life after some 30 years.  We touched one another with blood oil.  Soothing and assured. 

I am reminded, through them that my parents were remarkable.  It is good to have others vouch for my memory.  I guess that's why we try so hard.  We try to live up to our memories.  To hold on to who other people remember who we were. 

So now that Christmas is out of our house, I feel very Christmasy.  Warm and fuzzy.  Remembering and hopeful.  Jesus didn't come to this world so that we could decorate our homes and pass gifts.  He came to make us know that we have a purpose.  That we are important and that God is the ultimate answer.  We try so hard because we are human, we forget, we try to remember, we forget, we try again, on and on we go. 

It's our journey.  It's good to remember our journey. Jed and I have been remarkably blessed on our journey and it's good to remember.  It's good to be reminded by friends and family, and it's good to try hard to keep the journey on a positive path. 


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