Tuesday, July 1, 2014


It's primal.  Dancing.  It's strength gathering cell by cell.  It's grief tossing and joy gathering.  It's basic and primal and real.  Thinking of the deck party brings vivid memories.  We danced away grief.  We danced away pain.  We danced away differences and we danced joy into our hearts.  If only for a moment or a few hours, we let grief and pain and worry and fret wash off our skin and we were free of it all. 

How sad for people who don't dance. 

Jed and I would dance silly.  Really, silly.  We didn't have the great moves, but we moved with great abandon.  That's one of the things I loved most about him.  He did almost everything with great abandon.  He never cared how things were "supposed to be."  He just did.  He just let himself be free to express or act as he felt.  Free. 

It's been 5 months since Jed moved freely into his other world.  He sat up with great assurance to tell his daughter that he was not afraid.  His comfort with death was beautiful. 

And, I know he wants me to dance, to go with abandon into the next phase of life.  I know he is there providing opportunities and encouraging us to be greater than we think we can be. 

Having a dancing fool in heaven who loves you, is quite lovely.  I miss him like water.  I miss him like air.  I miss him like music, but in missing him, I am so reminded how perfectly perfect it was, our time together, and how without it all, the whole sorted package, I would not be the dancing fool that I am, able to capture magic almost everywhere. 

It was a beautiful night full of magic at every turn.  The heavens opened up and poured perfection on our night.  We are all better for it.  Thank you for the music.  Thank you for the dance.  Thank you, Jed, for making me your dance partner beyond my imagination. 


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