Thursday, February 5, 2015

My Journey

"It's my journey, and I'm going to take it!"  That's been my power speech for the last few weeks.  It gives me some "umph" when I say it. and it makes people laugh, so I think I'll stick with it.  Today I got word from the doctor that I am "triple negative."  That has nothing to do with my look on life or my general nature.  It does, however. tell me that my cancer is aggressive and illusive and must be treated with respect.  It indeed has a life of it's own and is taking hold in my body.  Correction, wants to take hold in my body.  I, however, have power over those little shitty cells and the war begins. 

The fence jumping, hog feeding farm girl in me tends to believe that everything can be managed by just being a bit more tough, but I think this one got me straddled over the fence.  My journey has left the farm and moved on to the simple drips of the poison that will soon flow through my veins in a barbaric attempt to kill the bad stuff.  Chemotherapy lurks in my journey's future. 

So how do I put this into some kind on sense?  Best I can come up with is, "there is no sense, and that's that."  Struggle as I might with why, and all the mind meanderings of who, why, where, what and when, I come up only with, "because."

I'm a little more than a month past my mastectomy, and was prepared to hear the doctor say, "Looks like we got it all," when I get the news of my new journey.  My faith is no less strong.  My eyes are a little bit more open.  So, "It's my journey, and I'm going to take it!," seems to be working for me. 

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