Friday, July 2, 2010


We went away this week.  We celebrated.  We celebrated the joy of knowing a remarkable person, Ubaldo, who has worked for us for one year.  The first day he worked for us was his birthday, so we celebrated one year later both the anniversary and the birthday. 

We spent two nights at Pachanga, a casino/hotel.  Three rooms, us, Ubaldo, Sarah and family.  Great fun.  Relaxation and awayness.  Awayness is good as it takes you away from the normal which can get very tedious. 

But, the remarkable thing about the time away for me was communication.  Being out of the normal routine is quite okay for the average person, but for the quadriplegic and care giver/wife, it can create anxiety.  We didn't have our normal set up.  Bathroom, schedule, meals.  These and more all need to be addressed. 

We accomplished all with amazing ease.  But, what I noticed was our need for communication.  "Put your foot here, move your arm there, lift now, adjust the pillow please."  We spoke to one another with gentleness and unspoken awareness that, "this is different, help me help you." 

We are so very blessed.  Not only do we have an amazing caregiver who we cherish and are proud to call our friend, we, Jed and I, can communicate.  We can speak to one another about needs and wants.  We can talk of tough stuff. 

This is not for the weak.  This is hard.  Each day, each experiance, must be carefully planned and executed.  But, we are blessed by one another's willingness to communicate with the other.

How do you evaluate a successful life?  A successful marriage?  I think it is though communication. 


  1. It was good to talk to you guys!!! Sounded like you all were having a ball!

  2. Yes, one of the most difficult to master. Communication is a skill and a gift. It takes emptying of self, putting one's self in the other's shoes. Trying to understand what they are feeling or reacting to that perhaps awakened a hurt that was experienced in child and still hurts, like when parents communicated that something they wanted was more important than you. And if something surfaces, treat that hurt as if it were you hurting. I can see how you both must be tremendous communicators. What a blessing.