We're trying to figure out what to do with our lives.  Things are so different that we have to think differetly.  Like, what do we do with a large old 1890's farm house when all the bedrooms are upstairs and the mortgage is out of this world?  So we applied for a modification and in the meantime applied to a senior park.  We figured we could live there rather maintence free and at least have all the living space on one floor.  Wheel chairs don't go upstairs very well. 

Shock of shocks, we were denied entrance into the senior park because our credit is shot.  You see, after the fall Jed lost all his real estate investments.  We were on the verge of being millionaires many times over and now we get denied by a senior park.  They told me that they would let us move in if we provided a guaranture.  No way.  I will not burden anyone else.  Can you imagine?  That's the kind of thing teenagers do when they buy their first car.    I wrote a letter explaining the situation and gave them a "we are of good character" appeal but thet weren't impressed.  Insult indeed.  Even though it seemed smart to live there, the very thought of it made me cringe so I had to  accept the outcome as simply okay and be open for what lies ahead. 

In the meantime we modified our loan and are living quite comfortably in the house the once felt quite large but now feels very small as three wheel chairs, a commode, a hospital bed and a bed for me now fill the living room and the rest  just feels small. 

We know that many decisions lie ahead for us.  One of which is, just how far do we go to pursue a cure?"  We have come to know of a stem cell program in Germany which we plan to apply for.  The questions are numerous, but the bottom line is, "is this smart?"  I suppose there is no way of really knowing, so we need to trust the peace and comfort that comes, if it comes, with making the decision. Listening is a very good thing.  Listening to the silent truth that comes to us in waves.