Jed hasn't been to therapy for almost 2 weeks. He was doing so good. Walking even. On real land, not just in the water. He was very proud and expecting to be an independent walker by the end of the month. But then he got a fever. Who knows what brought it on. Just a fever. We got antibiotics and he's better, but now he has lost his walking memory. Sounds funny, but that's what it is. We have to start over retraining and reminding his muscles what to do in order to walk. He can't even stand alone now.
He's been there once, so he will get there again, but it is not a direct line. Progress. It's not a direct line from one accomplishment to another. It's a zig zag and sometimes a complete hault. I imagine all life is like that. That is why we need Faith. Without it, facing a tomorrow would be near impossible.
I have spent the last few days simply sad. Sad is unproductive and very self serving, but sometimes it's the only thing that works. Sad gives away to slothiness and messiness and fear. Sad and Scared go together. They have a life of their own. They sees colors different, prepare food different, speak to people different, even dress different. Sad and Scared are okay. Sometimes they just need to be recognized, acknowleged and papered a bit. Sad or Scared don't live long when they're exposed. Sad and Scared are friends of the dark. We don't live in the dark. Not for long anyway. We chose light. We chose hope. We chose tomorrow.
So we move on. Tomorrow we will go to therapy and try to regain what the fever, Sad and Scared took. We will try to rebuid hope and personal goals. Tomorrow is a new day.